For Those Times When You Hate Your Child
Hate your child? Here’s what to do.
When Kids Are Out Of Control and You Kinda Hate Them
I was jogging on a treadmill today, listening as I often do to music from the greatest musical group of all time (go ahead and guess), I received a text from a friend.
The text message was, “My sister is dealing with a PROBLEM with her oldest child! Needs help. Please call.”
Here’s the thing, this is not how I meet clients. Plus, I was in the middle of raising my pulse as part of my “improve my cardio fitness” plan. But, I got off the treadmill and…
Wait… You should know that I have been coaching the friend (who sent me the text) and his wife in the areas of parenting, time management, and relationship for a while now. Apparently he recommended me to his sister.
Anywho… I called back and asked to speak with the sister. I barely had a chance to say, “This is Darryl…” before she blurted out…
“My kids don’t listen to me.”
“I can’t get them to do their chores.”
“They talk back to me and their father.”
“We argue every day.”
“My oldest child is the worst and…I hate him sometimes!”
She was filled with anxiety, emotion… Wow! Hate your child! I think you will agree that her statements were very strong. Perhaps you can identify with some of them.
I took notes, got clarification on some of the issues she brought up, and made some distinctions.
Before I ended that call and agreed to a time to call her back, I did the following four things:
1. I agreed to her request to provide coaching to her, her spouse, and their kids. (See, these are family issues, not kid issues.)
2. I told her that she and her husband were not alone when it comes to difficulties dealing with kids. I also shared with her that it is quite possible that the problems facing her family could be addressed and solved.
3. I asked her to write down – as best she could – her description of the communication patterns that exist between and among the various members of her family. She is to share that with me tomorrow.
4. I provided one key piece of advice to “stop the bleeding” between now and the time she and I talk again tomorrow and we begin the journey to a lasting solution . I suggested that she:
Take a deep breath and stop REACTING to the behavior of her children. Stop being triggered out of control like a trained animal. Give that her best try, at least until we have a chance to speak again.
Perhaps this advice will also be helpful to you or a friend. I’ve found it to be the best first step towards getting control of your emotions, your family interactions, and your sanity.
Now, back to the treadmill.
BTW – Hit the following LINK if you too are faced with irritating children, out-of-control family interactions, and all the nonsense that comes with this.
Darryl L. Mobley
Live Your Best Life!
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