Life Coaching

What To Do If You’re A “No” Person

Are you a “No” Person?

Are You a Self-Starter or a Self-Stopper?

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By Darryl L. Mobley, Life Coach

Fewer than three out of one hundred people will come close to achieving their life dreams. Why is that?

The vast majority of the people you and I deal with day in and day out are what I call, “Self-Stoppers.” These “Self Stoppers” are the ninety seven percent who will never achieve great & glorious life dreams.

Surveys indicate that the average child hears the word “No” or “Don’t” or “You Can’t” or “Stop” about 730,000 times by the age of twelve.

That’s almost three-quarters of a million times that a twelve year old will be stopped from doing something that he or she wants to do.

Mother telling child No That same child will have heard “Yes” fewer than 34,000 times by the age of twelve. These numbers suggest that you, me, our kids, all of us, were raised on a barrage of comments — ninety six percent of which were negative and limiting.

That’s about twenty-one negative comments for every one positive comment from age one to twelve.

Don’t get it twisted; I’ve got kids and I know that most of the “no’s” that a kid hears are designed to keep him or her from getting hurt or doing something foolish. I’ve got no beef with that. My bigger focus is on the absence of the word, “Yes.”

I am fond of saying, “Stuff in equals stuff out.” Everything you say to your kids, your friends, and your significant other is a form of programming or “stuff in” to them. The same goes for what you say to yourself.

Who can be surprised that ninety seven percent of people fail to achieve their dreams and live happily when the vast majority of what they are told during their formative years is negative?

The cold, hard truth is that most of us have been programmed by negative comments to be “Self Stoppers.” An even colder truth is that the negative comments didn’t stop when we turned thirteen. (Just think about what you’ve had to deal with today!)

All of those “No!” commandments add up such they cause us to habitually think “I can’t do this,” “It’s not worth trying,” “I won’t get it” or “It won’t work out.”

This ingrained and highly-negative thinking pattern also causes us to stop chasing our dreams, attract negative people into our lives, be unable to see positive opportunities, be illogical, quit one step short of our goals, sabotage our key relationships, make poor decisions, and so on.

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“You can’t create and sustain a positive relationship if you have a negative mind.”

The folks who go on to live their best lives and achieve their dreams are those who have heard a ton of yes’s in life, have developed the ability to filter out the negative input from those around them, and/or consciously reprogrammed themselves away from being a “no” person and toward seeing the world in “yes” terms. These folks are “Self Starters.” They are happier, healthier, full of more love for others, and able to attract more love themselves because of their mindset.

Does what I’ve shared with you so far apply to parenting your kids? Yes.

Does what I’ve shared with you so far apply to communicating with loved ones? Yes.

Does what I’ve shared with you so far apply to your self-talk? Yes.

Here’s how you can use the insights I’ve shared to make your life better before your head hits the pillow tonight:

1. Start loading up your kids with positive comments. Every hour of every day. Help them dream about their bright, wonderful futures. If you don’t communicate belief in their abilities, who will?

2. Make sure that you and your significant other envelope each other in empowering communication. Every hour of every day. Hug each other just because. Become physically positive.

3. Stay alert to the all-powerful voice in your head. That voice should be encouraging you to happiness and belief-in-self. Every hour of every day. What you repeat to yourself will become what you believe. What you believe is what life will give you.

BTW – Hit the following LINK if you are facing some interesting opportunities or thorny challenges. You’ll be glad you did.